these are the d a r k days..

and i'm learning how to deal,
so i'm learning how to deal with things on my own.. i feel like this is a period in my life that i'm not sure what to do with.. i'm a "grown up" and so far i have sucked at it.. i'm not sure what to do with all my decisions i have to make.. i'm not really sure what to do with all of it.. i can do whatever i want with my life, yet why am i making myself trapped and feel alienated.. my mom and i have so many issues that we've been fighting that a lot of it dosn't even have to do with her.. and in the process of being in a battle with myself i've managed to start a battle with my mother.. and my mom and i have known to be so close, and i managed to fit into the role of rebeling and trying to do what i want when she didn't want me to do it. and now i can do all the things but i think i'm just fighting someone who loves me more then i love myself. all i know is that these are MY dark days and i know things will eventually get better, and josh and i will just look back at this as a transition to something bigger and greater.